Life After
by simplifydefeat
Summary: Red's life after the prison, after almost relationship, after all the shit which happened to her.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Originally it had to be one long story, but I decided to part it ;) Here's the beginning, which also could be a one shot I think ;) I have some parts written, but the story is not finished yet, so it may as well finish just like that. It all depends on my muse (but on readers of course too :D)**

 **Not sure what to say more, so enjoy! :)  
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It felt like heaven to be able to take a hot bath. A hot bath with a lot of bubbles, a hot bath which smelt like no bath in her life did. After all those years of short, usually cold showers, she finally could lie in hot water and just enjoy it. That was a godsend for her hurting back.

Although it was so amazing, she felt a bit weird, cause she wasn't at her own place. She was in her son's house and it didn't feel like home exactly. She felt more like a guest, who was going to leave, in a few days. And she would do it, if only she could. But after leaving prison she had nothing. The money she earned there, was a laughable sum, so she wasn't able to do anything. Finally free, she was feeling even worse than locked up. Without money, without the job, without home and even without proper wardrobe, she felt less human than in prison. It was making her so depressed...

She shook her head to get rid of those thoughts and played with the bubbles and the water, letting it to slip through her fingers. She had to think about something nicer. There was no point on being so pessimistic at the very beginning of her new life. She thought she had family after all. Her sons, even if they were not little boys anymore and their wives and kids. She wasn't alone in all of this as sometimes happen to people. Of course it wasn't like she thought it would be, while she had been in prison yet. She thought she would come home to her husband and her market, and everything will be fine after all. But there was no husband and no market left.

All she had were her sons. 'And Sam' something in her mind said. She told herself off for even thinking like that, but that emotional part of her couldn't stop all those thoughts about the handsome counselor. The practical part wanted her to stop this, before it turned into shit and made her cry. But thinking of Sam has been lifting her soul from the depths of the sadness and depression, and making her heart skip a bit. Even though she considered thinking about him was stupid as hell of her, it was the only thing that made her survive the worst days of regained freedom. Her body trembled as she felt knowing sensation in the bottom of her abdomen. That was another reason why she kept thinking about Sam. It was making her aroused at once. She wasn't using it to pleasure herself, it wasn't her cup of tea. She was raised in belief, that only man should pleasure a woman and if she had to do it by herself it was something she should be ashamed of. Of course few years of prison verified her beliefs a bit. But even if, she felt that masturbating in her son's bath in his freaking house was a bit inappropriate. Plus she considered it more as a privilege of young women, not women in their fifties. That glimmer of arousal, which she has been feeling when she was thinking about her counselor was enough for her; she didn't need anything more.

She shivered again, but this time because she realized that the water got cold a pretty while ago. Slowly she stood up, grabbed a towel and wrapped herself into it. Just when she was getting out the bath, she heard gentle knocking to the bathroom's door.

 _'Mamushka, are you dead? Nobody takes a bath for three hours!'_ she heard her son's concerned voice.

 _'I'm alright Vasily!'_ she answered. _'Oni ne dayut mne ni minuty pokoya…'_ she said under her breath.

Drying herself, she realized she had to get back to depressing reality, where she had nothing and only stupid thoughts were keeping her in sober state of mind.

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	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Another part. Still no sight of Sam Healy tho, but he's going to appear ;)**

 **Enjoy!**

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Two months had passed and Red still couldn't find any job. Nobody wanted to hire former prisoner, who was closer to the retirement than working age. It made her fell like shit, when everybody doubted in her skills. All she wanted to do was just lay down in her bed and cry in the pillow, wondering how much her life sucked. But she couldn't do it. She needed to get focused and find a place to work. Firstly, because there was a condition in her parole, which said she had to do it. Secondly she couldn't live at her son's grace forever. And thirdly, what was the most important, she wasn't like that - at all. She had never given up before. Whole her life she was tough and unbreakable, and she couldn't just become weak. She couldn't admit it to people and especially she couldn't admit it to herself. There were plenty of days when depression wanted to overpower her, but she was stronger. It was a Cold War: old, tough Russian vs depression. For now Red was scoring.

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She pushed the store's door and the bell rang madly. She entered and looked around. The place looked quite nice. If an old, damp and cramped store could look nice. It was the last place she decided to step in that day. _'And last in this month_.' She thought. She had no more energy for looking for a job, if no one wanted to hire her. It was like looking for an Atlantis – impossible to find.

'Excuse me?' she asked the emptiness. There was no option she hadn't been heard coming in. Unless somebody was deaf. Or dead. 'Anybody's here?' she continued asking.

'Yes, yes I'm coming!' she got her answer.

Waiting for the owner of the voice, she looked around again. She was in garden store, no doubt. Bags of soil were scattered everywhere around, flower pots were standing on the shelves unsegregated and the bulbs and seeds of the plants weren't even described. The plants themselves were nowhere near to find, but she put it down to pervasive winter.

'Hello!' she heard right behind her. She turned around and saw probably former hippie who's age she estimated close to her own. Few years more or less, she couldn't tell.

'Ehm, hello.' she said.

'What brings you here? Is anything I can do for you?' asked her the lady with bush on her head. Her hair looked just like Nicky's. Red warned herself not to think about it now and answered.

'Actually, I am looking for a job. I've seen your advertisement at the storefront.'

'Oh and you didn't run away like all the potential candidates did? It's a good omen. I'm glad I didn't scare you off.' the lady laughed.

'There's no many things I'm scared of.' Red said. Hippie lady smiled to her.

'Do you have any resume or something?'

'Well, not exactly. I have only this.' She showed her the note, she got when she was leaving prison. It was signed by her probation officer who was seeing her once or twice in month, what was concluded in her parole. There was said she had experience in the kitchen and in gardening, cause those were her jobs in the prison. And that note has been usually scaring off her potential employers.

'Oh, let me see it.' The owner of the store, as Red supposed, took the note from her. 'Well, there's nothing much said in here, but you look like you knew something about hard work. And I need somebody like that, cause I suck at any work, you know? Plus I like the truthfulness in your eyes.' Red glanced at the lady fully surprised. 'You look like an honest person.'

'An honest person? I just got out of prison! I can't be honest.' 'Everybody makes mistakes.' The woman said. 'I want to hire you.' Red was shocked. That place was the last one where she thought she'll find a job. Being honest she gave up her hope right after she came in here. The only thing which made her stay and try, was the fact that she was never abandoning things she had already started.

'Hire me?' she asked still astonished.

'Yes, exactly.' The lady nodded and looked down at the note once again. 'I want to hire you... Galina.'

'I prefer Red.' she corrected immediately.

'Forgive. So, Red when you want to start?' she was asked by the hippie, who came up to the counter, probably to write down Red's personal details.

'When do you want me to?'

'Actually it'd be amazing if you could stay right now, cause I have a few errands to run. It'll take me two hours at most. You'll get paid for it of course.' Red's new employer said.

'You just hired a former convict! And you want to leave me here without any control?' Red couldn't believe in what was just happening. That woman had to be mentally disabled or simply high. 'You don't even know me! You don't know what I'll do…'

'Will I get to know you by tomorrow?' Lady asked and Red stared up at her even more surprised. It was something grotesque in all of it. She was afraid, she will wake up in a minute and realize that everything was just some kind of ludicrous dream. And that she still will not have a job and anything, and she'd be forced to start everything from the very beginning. 'No Red, I won't. But I believe in people.' The lady said. 'Plus I really need to run my errands and I don't want to close the store. You never know when the customer will come.' She winked. Red grew suspicious, but she thought it was only two hours and if something went bad she could always not to show up next day.

'You're right. You won't. I'll stay, but give me your number just in case. And maybe a name.' Red said, her tone commanding as it used to be in prison. Woman wrote down her number on the nearest piece of paper and handed it to Red.

'It's Daisy.' She said her name, taking her coat from the counter and leaving the store already. 'I'll be back in two hours. Maybe two and a half. After I'm back, we make a deal and you have a legal job since today.' She said and then she was gone.

Red was a bit overwhelmed by what just happened. Lost in thoughts she searched in her bag for her phone and called Vasily. She had to let him know that she wasn't coming to cook a dinner after all. He was surprised, she could sense that, but he said nothing. After the call, she took off her coat, sat down on the nearest box, which was put upside down and thought that her life was just fucking weird.

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	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Another part :) The next one will be a retrospection. It's written for so long, but I'm so NOT in the mood for rereading it and correcting... Hope you enjoy this, even if it's really short.  
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It's been a three weeks, since she started working in Daisy's store. She still was a bit suspicious about her, she considered her as a very weird person, but actually she was getting used to it. Daisy might just have had that eccentric personality, but Red believed that she was smoking weed tho. She actually never saw her doing it, but maybe because Daisy was showing up in her store very rarely, since she hired Red. Just as same as the customers. There wasn't many of them coming. They were usually showing up in here when they couldn't find what they were looking for anywhere else. But Red could count on her fingers those times. She'd been thinking for a while, that a good marketing would help the business blossom. But when she'd told Daisy about it, the only answer she got was what she had in that time was enough. So Red didn't mention it ever again. She's been only working there, she wasn't supposed to boss around like she used to everywhere before.

But being honest, after Red cleaned the place, segregated everything and just refreshed the store a bit more, clients started showing up more often. She did it, cause she couldn't stand spending few hours of her day in that chaos all around, but it helped the business by the accident. Unfortunately Daisy didn't seem noticing it. She was like living in a totally different space. She acted like she didn't care about the earth life here, but she also didn't seem to be a person who believed in afterlife, that was what Red was assuming. She was just taking what the life was bringing and focusing on reaching the serenity. She reminded Red of Yoga Jones. Without any problem Red could imagine her employer practicing all those weird positions and babbling some quasi–intelligent things, which had to make your soul clean. Just as her former prison mate used to do.

She wondered what they were doing there right now. She looked at the watch on her left wrist – it was 12.30, lunch time in Litchfield. She could see Mendoza and her girls, who were brought back into the kitchen, to Latina's disaffection, after Red's release. They probably were serving that slop from the bag, which sight had been making her almost vomit when she had to serve it back then. She could hear the buzz of all those women talking, yelling at each other. She could smell the food mixed with the weird smell of mold and the faded odor of sweat, which hadn't been cleaned from decades. And of course she could see him.

He was passing the corridor by, glancing lingeringly at the kitchen, while going to his office. When she'd been working there yet and she wasn't too busy to spy on him, she would notice him sending send her warm smile, which she knew was reserved only for her. She missed that smile on freedom. She also missed their little talks about nothing and everything. After her translating job he treated her and after that unexpected flirting, they grew attached to each other. Even if their romantic involvement wasn't a good idea, they still remained friends. In the weird kind of friendship, but still friends. Even the one intimate moment they'd shared, haven't ruined that friendship. They had special connection, which couldn't been ruined by one stupid accident. At last that was what they were claiming. They promised each other to forget about what happened and get back to what they had, to their previous relation. She didn't know how Sam, but she couldn't just threw it out of her mind. Neither there nor here and now. It meant too much for her.

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	4. Chapter 4

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All her memories got back as she closed her eyes. She could replay that scene in her head on and on.

 _It was late, she remembered perfectly. At that time everybody had busied themselves with their own problems. The guards were changing shifts, so they hadn't been very careful and the inmates were having a time off before the bed time. The light in his office was dimmed and the blinds were shut down. If you haven't been sure he was in, you could think he just forgot to turn off the desk lamp. But she was sure, she knew he was inside and waiting for her. She looked around carefully and when she noticed nobody in sight, she slightly pushed the office's doors. He was sitting on his chair, losing his hope, but when he saw her, he lightened up. 'Galina.' He said. She uplifted her finger to her mouth and made him stay in silent, while closing the door as quiet as she could. She locked them and smiled to him. 'Now you can talk. But don't be too noisy.' She warned. He grinned; she was making orders as always. 'I can't believe you came.' he said standing up from the chair. 'I can't believe it either.' She shook her head in disbelief and giggled. 'That's so fucking stupid.' 'No, Red, don't say that..' he came up to her and took her hands in his own. His touch felt so warm and so… right, like he was meant to hold her hands for eternity. He placed a kiss on her left hand and her skin almost got burned from the touch of his lips against it. 'You have such a beautiful hands, you know?' he said, planting a short soft kisses on the both of her hands. 'It is the stupidest compliment I've ever got, you know?' she answered question for a question. He glanced at her; her face was cold as an iceberg, but he saw no anger in her eyes, only playful twinkles. 'I've heard a few much worse than that one. Some men are trying to be too creative sometimes.' He said trying to sound serious and got back to her hands. She was trying to hold up her laughter, but when her eyes watered she couldn't stop herself and cracked up. 'You've been complimented by men?' She managed through her laugh. He was just going to plant another kiss on her soft hand, but when she laughed he froze. He was taken aback by her question and was not sure what he should say. Before he find good words, she spoke. 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry… Continue.' She said still amused. He looked at her, content that he made her laugh. It was good to know that he was able to call a smile on her usually broody face. He got to the action he abandoned. He's been kissing her every single visible vein, he considered they all were worth his attention, he didn't want to leave any part of her skin untouched. She felt that her hands began to tremble a bit, but Sam never stopped. It was touching he was that caring. She smiled mistily and her eyes remained thoughtful. He was making her calm. She always had big fights with Dmitri, but with Sam she didn't feel like it. Of course she was making him excuses, demanding things to be done and she was dominative, but still he could make her calm. Just with a look, with simple smile. He rose his eyes upon her. That calm, quiet, lost in thoughts and almost ashamed at the moment woman reminded him of the first time they met. Back then she was she was shy and afraid Galina, through the years it was harder and harder to find that woman in confident and commanding Red. But now she was standing in front of him. Fragile and vulnerable Galina was back for tonight. 'What the fuck is wrong with me tonight?!' Suddenly she took her hands out of his hold. 'That's…' her hands froze in half move, when she was pointing at herself. 'That's not my style. You make me behave like a prude teenager. Enough!' Sam was confused and not sure what was going on. He wanted to tell her that he'd never said he didn't like her in that delicate way, but he wasn't able to. She grabbed his shirt and pulled him to herself. Then she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him fiercely. He was really surprised at her actions. Being honest she was either. The kiss roused the flame in their souls and bodies. Finally she cut it off, let him go and looked away. Actually she felt idiotic at the moment. What was it? They met for a tryst in his office in fucking prison? What they were thinking? She had so many thoughts, which were making her almost insane. She felt Sam's hands on her waist, but her mind was somewhere else. Despite she wanted him, all of it was causing her disgust at the moment. They were selfish and mean. She was just going through a divorce and what she wanted? Throw herself into another relationship? And he still had a wife! Even if she didn't care about him and lived somewhere else right now. His hand still were on her waist and he was looking at her as he wanted to know her thoughts. She knew she was lying to herself, it wasn't a disgust what she felt earlier. She wanted him so much. And a part of her was telling her it was selfish; they just needed sex, nothing emotional. But another part of her was saying that everything with Sam was different. They were soul mates, they knew each other so well, even if they weren't spending much time together. They knew their assets and flaws, and still they had special bond. And what was toughing her the most - Sam saw good in her. Even if she couldn't see it anymore he did. Dmitri stopped years ago... 'Sam' she said with her voice harsh from all the emotions. 'I don't know if we should...' 'Shh...' he hushed her and when she was going to say another doubtful protest he silenced her with a kiss. She had so many thoughts at the moment. She wanted to cry, run away and beg him to fuck her right now an there at the same time. She parted her lips delicately and let his tongue enter to her mouth. It felt so weird being kissed after that long time. It was almost like being kissed for the first time again. And it was so different from the kiss they shared just seconds ago. Then she wanted to show her power again, now she was completely vulnerable, depending on his will. They both knew it. It seemed like their kiss lasted forever after they finally parted. He caressed her cheek gently and smiled at her. 'I feel so lost Sam...' she said sighing. She wasn't looking at him, her eyes roaming around the small room. His hands left her frame and he brushed his face helplessly. 'So am I, so am I...' He perched at his desk and eyed her sadly. She remained standing, her body stiff, like no moves were allowed. Finally she met his gaze. 'Do you think it will change anything between us?' He could see, that she was considering any option carefully. She clenched her teeth and her eyes were very determined while she was looking for a proper solution. 'Probably.' he answered her question quietly, almost whispering._

The sound of opening door made her jump. A cup of black coffee, barely sipped and cold now, sprung away nudged by her hand and the beverage spilled all around. She didn't notice it, still absorbed by her thoughts. She was all glowing, her cheeks flushed, eyes still misted with hint of desire. Coffee dripping from the counter on her shoes made her more conscious.

'I didn't mean to startle you.' she heard a voice. It had to be still a daydream she was being experiencing, because it was impossible in reality. She tilted her head up and blinked in disbelief.

'Healy?' There was unexpected hoarseness in her voice, so different from the one she had on daily basis.

'Galina?' He seemed to be dazed as same as her.

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 **A/N: And here we've got to the point where I got stuck. I have no idea where I should go with that story to not destroy it completely. Any thoughts you guys would like me to explore? ;)**


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